13_pines (13_pines) wrote,

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In which, out of boredom, I blog all of Prisoner of Azkaban.

Three reasons for doing this: 1) PoA is on TV right now, 2) I have nothing better to do, 3) I've been on a bit of a Harry Potter kick ever since the trailer for Deathly Hallows was released two weeks ago.

This post will be similar to how I used to write up episodes on the Studio 60 Rewind community (which will eventually be revived once I get my S60 DVDs back from the friend who borrowed them).  Basically, I'm just gonna type comments about what I'm watching.  I'll try to keep my observations light and snarky rather than analytical and serious (I'll also try to refrain from making any Serious/Sirius puns).  For obvious reasons, spoilers abound.

By the way, it took me about 12 minutes to figure out what icon to use for this post. I finally settled on this one because, well, if I'm blogging Prisoner of Azkaban, I should use an icon featuring said prisoner, right?

Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban
Directed by: Alfonso Cuaron
Screenplay by: Steve Kloves (based on the novel by J.K. Rowling)
Starring: Daniel Radliffe, Rupert Grint, Emma Watson, Michael Gambon, Gary Oldman, Alan Rickman, Maggie Smith, Timothy Spall, David Thewlis, Emma Thompson...and about a million other amazing British actors.

Okay, here we go...

I adore the opening music...this is part of the score that was originally written by the uber-talented John Williams.

Harry's playing with his wand in bed. Oh, I just realized that sounded dirty. Oops.

Uncle Vernon's sister is a bitch, and I love dogs, but I want to punch that animal in the face. Why would you give your dog brandy?

I heard the kid who plays Dudley lost a bunch of weight recently. Good for him.

"If there's something wrong with the bitch, there's something wrong with the pup." I feel bad for Petunia here because Marge is saying such awful things about Lily. If I had been Petunia, I would have told her not to speak ill of my dead sister ever again.

Pretty decent special effects here. Love how Dudley doesn't even care that his aunt just floated away and keeps watching TV.

Harry's running away in the middle of the night. Smart idea for a thirteen year old.

Yes, yes, Harry, it's dark and you have no transportation. And oh, look, there's a giant black dog growling at you. Whatever could that mean?  Is it some kind of foreshadowing? /sarcasm

Knight Bus!  The guy who plays Stan Shunpike is pretty hilarious. Great cockney accent.  I always pictured the interior of the Knight Bus to be fancier than this...and bigger.

"Who is that?" It's Sirius Black, idiot. He wants to kill you. Except not really. Heh, it's Crazy Gary Oldman screaming on the cover of The Daily Prophet!  I love the animated pictures in The Daily Prophet. Is it dorky of me to say that I wish real newspapers had animated pictures?

Okay, this part of the movie is a little different from the book, but it's been about a year since the last time I read it, so I can't remember what really happens between Fudge and Harry in The Leaky Cauldron.

The Monster Book of Monsters. They did a fantastic job of making this book look like what the novel described.

Oh, no, Ron and Hermione are arguing about Crookshanks trying to eat Scabbers the rat. I wonder if this could have anything to do with the story in the future? Hmm. /sarcasm

More Crazy Gary Oldman/Sirius Black wanted posters. I admit to wishing I had one of those.

Why doesn't Mr. Weasley tell Harry the whole fucking story about his parents and Sirius Black. Not telling him everything is going to make him want to go looking for Black. You know this, Mr. Weasley!

Oooh...creepy part. I watched this movie before I read the book, so I couldn't believe the filmmakers would make the Dementors so frightening for a kids' movie. This part actually kind of scared me, and I'm an adult. The book is even creepier.  Ew, disgusting rotting flesh-covered hands.

Remus saves the day!  But not before Harry passes out like a weenie. I just remembered that Harry faints a lot in this movie. Let's keep track, whaddaya say?! This is pass out #1.

I like David Thewlis as Remus Lupin. Again, I saw this movie before I read the book, so Thewlis was always how I pictured Lupin.  However, Thewis doesn't completely fit the description from the book. But, that's really okay with me. It annoys me when people are like, "I can't like this character because the person playing him/her doesn't look EXACTLY LIKE how he/she is described in the book." Calm, the f*ck down, people. It's a movie.

Chocolate makes everything better.

"Something Wicked This Way Comes."  Perfect song for this movie.

Ugh, Draco Malfoy, you're such an asshole.  Tom Felton has turned into a relatively good young actor, though.

The kid who plays Seamus Finnigan is so short. Shorter than Daniel Radcliffe, which I didn't think was possible.

Unnecessary scene in the boys' dormitory. Why couldn't you cut this out and add something that was relevant to the actual storyline?

I think this bird is drunk. Hagrid agrees.

Ah, Sybil Trelawney.  Emma Thompson cracks me up with her Coke-bottle glasses. Also, Emma Watson's facial expressions are priceless. Yes, Hermione thinks Divination is a load of crap. We've got it, Watson.

The Grim! An omen of death! Oh, noes!

"Just stroke the spine, of course." That sounds dirty, too. "You're supposed to stroke it." Heh.

Not a big fan of the hippogriff stuff. Not sure why. I know Buckbeak is somewhat important because of the end, but still. Boring.

Whoa, Hermione's timeturner is hanging out of her shirt in this scene. I never noticed that before! I'm sure it was done on purpose. It's fun noticing little details like that.

Sirius Black has been sighted! Oh. Em. Gee. Let's all panic. Obligatory Crazy Gary Oldman pic.

Oh, this is a fun scene. Lupin teaches the students about Boggarts.  I'm sorry, but whoever turned their boggart into a scary jack-in-the-box is seriously (siriusly!) disturbed. The goal is to turn it into something you find funny. Demented jack-in-the-boxes? Not remotely funny. Oh, it was Parvati. Sheesh, girl.

Hmm, I wonder why Lupin's boggart is the full moon. Whatever could that mean?!

Aw, McGonagall is so strict and no-nonsense, but she's got a good heart. Maggie Smith is amazing.

Random conversation with Lupin on the bridge. Yes, Harry, Lupin was friends with your mom and dad (And Sirius Black, but Harry doesn't know that yet! Mwahahaha!).

I wish my secondary school had been like Hogwarts. The inside is so cool. 

God, Percy, calm down. We KNOW you're Head Boy. Poor Fat Lady, attacked by Sirius Black. Uh-oh, you know what that means! School lockdown! Gathering dementors! Slumber party in the Great Hall! Woo hoo!

I love you, Neville, but you're an idiot for keeping a password list where anyone could get their hands on it.

"Turn to page three hundred and ninety four."  I love Alan Rickman. I love him. I love him. 

Let's talk about the difference between animagi and werewolves. It's terribly important. We'll soon find out why.

Holy crap, if I had to fly on a broomstick in a thunderstorm, I would be freaking out. They're basically tiny lightning rods out there.

OMG, a cloud in the shape of a Grim! Shocking. And now enter the dementors. Gross...their mouths are disgusting. 

This marks pass out #2 for Harry in this film. *shakes head*

The Marauder's Map!  It would have been nice if the writers had maybe, ya know, explained how the map was created. It's kind of an integral part of the story.

That snow looks totally fake. I'm not sure who this kid is playing Crabbe (or is it Goyle?). It's not the same one from the earlier movies.

Another obligatory Crazy Gary Oldman pic! We still haven't seen the actual man, though, sadly. And we won't for a while. Boo.

I want an invisibility cloak.  This explanation of what happened on the night Harry's parents died is not detailed enough for my taste. I gets the point across, though.

Ah! Sirius Black is Harry's godfather! Let's freak out about it, okay, Harry? Good job. You might want to work on your crying skills though, love.

Lupin teaching Harry how to cast a patronus charm. I like his office. And, here's another thing I never noticed...Remus can do wandless magic?  He just opened the trunk holding the boggart with just a wave of his hand. I don't think he could do that in the books.

More stuff about Ron's rat. It must mean something!

Hagrid's hairy suit is too funny. Poor Buckbeak.

I'm impressed with the film version of the Marauder's Map. What, Peter Pettigrew?! But, he's supposed to be dead!

Great idea to go looking for a dead man in the middle of the night. Good job, Harry.

Just to reiterate. Alan Rickman is awesome. He's wearing black contact lenses for his role as Snape. I think his real eye color is actually kind of hazel-ish.

Uh-oh, Lupin is pissed. No, Lupin it's not impossible for Peter to be on the map because HE ISN'T DEAD. But he's a sharp guy, he'll figure it out.

"The Grim, possibly." Heh. Hermione's disgust with divination is hilarious.

Crazy Gary Oldman's face in the crystal ball. "Haaaarrryyy Pottteeeer."

And now we've arrived. The day we've all been waiting for: the beheading of Buckbeak, which of course leads to the appearance of the infamous Sirius Black.

I love that Hermione slugs Draco right there. Why use magic when you can use fists?

Blast-ended skrewts! Why didn't they do more with them in this movie. They were so fun in the book!

For such a huge guy, Hagrid's a real softie.

Those are some giant pumpkins. What Hermione, what did you think you just saw? Yourself? Well, you're probably right, dear.

Ow, stupid rat bit Ron.

It's the Grim! (No, it's not, idiots, it's an animagus Sirius Black. Remember talking about animagi earlier? Yeah, that's why that was important.)

A little too much time spent on the Whomping Willow attack.

And onward to the Shrieking Shack. Ron is such a weenie. Seriously (Siriusly!).

Makeup did a great job make Gary Oldman look like a starved escaped convict. His teeth are disgusting.

What?! Sirius and Remus are friends?! Why, yes. Yes, they are.

Oldman does act pretty crazy in this movie. Of course, I would be crazy, too, if I had spent twelve years in a wizard prison.

Poor, clueless Snape, always jumping to the wrong conclusion.

This explanation of Peter Pettigrew, etc. is not nearly detailed enough. There's a lot more to than "Peter was our friend and then he betrayed us and oh, by the way, he's a rat."

Perfect casting of Timothy Spall as Peter. He naturally looks like a rat.

"I would've died rather than betray my friends." Aw, Sirius.

"The tail I could live with. The fleas are murder." Heh. I don't think that line is in the book, is it? It's a great line in any case.

This has nothing whatsoever to do with PoA, but Hershey's Nuggets with almonds are yummy. Just sayin'.

Stop whining about how painful your Sirius bite is, Ron. He can be so annoying.

Aw, Sirius is so sweet.

Damn, Oldman is incredibly short compared to Thewlis. He isn't a tall man anyway, though.

Great werewolf transformation...I like the effects. Interesting fight scene between two completely computer animated creatures. Why couldn't they have used a real dog for Sirius's animagi form at least some of the time? They do it in Order of the Phoenix.

The Dementors are coming! They're going to suck out Sirius's soul! Yeah, Harry, that patronus isn't going to be good enough to protect you guys from dozens of dementors.

Ah, so that's what a soul looks like. Good to know.

Harry's like, "Where in the hell did this giant stag patronus come from?"

Aaaannnd here's pass out #3! Come on, Harry. Really?

Michael Gambon is fabulous. As much as I loved Richard Harris (may he rest in peace), I prefer Gambon's Dumbledore.

Okay, the first time I saw this movie, I admit to not liking it because of the timeturner stuff. I was like, "I don't want to see the whole movie again from another perspective; that's a waste of my time."  But now it's my favorite movie of the entire Harry Potter series (so far...I'm reserving final judgment until Deathly Hallows is released) because of the timeturner part.  It's such a creative way to tell the story, and sometimes is hard to wrap your head around the logistics of it, but that's kind of the point. You're not supposed to understand because it's magic!

By the way, Hermione, it was you that you thought you saw earlier. Neat-o.

Yum. Nice dead ferrets.

"I'd like a nice cup of tea or a large brandy." I have a feeling Dumbledore's going to go with the brandy.

Running through the Forbidden Forest with a large hippogriff...sounds like fun. Not.

"And now we wait."

It wasn't your dad, Harry! Your dad is dead. He can't conjure patronuses.

Harry, no offense, but you're being a little creepy about wanting to live with Sirius.

Wow, something Hermione didn't think about! I almost can't believe it, little miss know-it all. ;-)

Um, look behind you, kiddos. Yeah, that's a werewolf. But it's cool because Buckbeak's there to save the day.

"Professor Lupin's having a really tough night." Good line.

Harry, figure it out. Sirius soul is going to get sucked out unless you get it in your head that YOU conjured the patronus. Duh.

"Expecto Patronum!" Nice.

Technically, that's pass out #4, but since they went back in time, it's actually pass out #3 again. So...hmm. I don't know, I'm still counting it as four.


Poor Harry, he just met his godfather and now they have to be separated. *tears*

"The ones that love us never really leave us."  I'm pretty sure that line is not in the book either, but it's perfect for this scene. This is probably my favorite scene of the movie, when Sirius says goodbye to Harry.

Oh, shut up, Ron. Don't be stupid.

It really sucks that Snape let slip Lupin's "condition."  He was the best DADA teacher the school ever had. Wow, I never noticed before how completely awful he looks in this scene. Definitely had a tough night.

Ooo, a Firebolt! For some reason I thought Harry got the Firebolt earlier in the book. As in before he knew that Sirius was a good guy. There's something about how McGonagall has to have the broom tested for curses, I think. I really need to reread PoA.

This film was very well directed by the great Alfonso Cuaron. My only true complaint: it ends on a freeze frame. Really? You couldn't have ended it in some other way? It wouldn't have taken much effort.

And...end credits. Whew, that was exhausting. I need a nap now!  Well, thanks to those of you who read all the way through this post...I appreciate your sticking with me through my ramblings!

Mischief managed.

Tags: alan rickman, gary oldman, harry potter, movies, watchlist 2010

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