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Dear upstairs neighbors...

It's almost one o'clock in the morning. Please stop rearranging furniture and/or square dancing and/or whatever the hell you're doing up there. It sounds like my ceiling is going to fall in. I know you can't possibly make that much noise just by walking around like normal people.  Also, I don't know why you feel the need to wake up at 4:30 a.m. at least twice a week to pace back-and-forth across the part of your apartment that is directly above my bed. Seriously, if you're having a problem with insomnia, call a doctor!

Sincerely,

Your grouchy downstairs neighbor

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